Keeping Score?

Are your relationships more give than take or more take than give? Are you keeping score? Do you care one way or the other? Do you do what is needed regardless?

Are you afraid someone will take advantage of you? Do you keep on guard against that? What keeps your relationships going smoothly?

When Robbie and Drew were young, Drew was petite. He could not reach the bowls, and he could not handle a full gallon of milk well enough to pour some on his cereal. Robbie was there to help. Robbie would also take the hand of the happy-go-lucky Drew when they crossed the street.

Robbie was always there for him. His ever present playmate was always ready to help and ready to watch out for his younger brother.

Flash forward ten to fifteen years. Robbie leaves his homework on the computer at home. Drew emails it to him. Robbie walks out without his calculator. Drew brings it to him when he heads out to college later in the day.

Needs have changed. Pay back for the older loyal brother and playmate is a younger brother that is always willing to help. He is reaping what he has sown. Although Drew is the one giving these days, he feels he got the better end of the deal.

Often the person helping is the one that really benefits. You may benefit now because you feel needed, or you may benefit later when the favor is returned.

There may be tough times ahead. If we are going to get America back on track, we are going to have to get our relationships back on track. Sometimes it is your turn to give. More often than not you may feel you are the only one doing the giving. Sometimes I think we tend to remember when we give more than when we receive.

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
John 13:34-35

Love does not keep score. You may find you are the one doing the giving for a long time because the other person is not able to give. Sometimes you may find you are the one picking up the phone. If you love someone, does it really matter who does the calling? Does it really matter if you are the giver for a long time?

How much are your relationships worth to you? Do you still feel like keeping score? Relationships are not ever going to be 50-50. True they should be give and take, but one person always does more giving than the other. If you are a giver, that person will be you.


Today’s challenge is to ask God to show you if you have been keeping score. Ask God to show you if you have been a taker instead of a giver. Ask God to show you how to love others more.

Consider your Christian brothers and sisters. Could you be more like family to them? Could you be there for them more than you have been? Could you argue less? Could you reach out more to them?

Now, consider your loved ones – saved and unsaved. Could you argue less with them? Could you help them more? What can you do differently?