Hold Your Friends and Family Accountable

It’s not okay to take the blame for something that you did not do. It’s not okay to pass the blame for something that you did do. You are not a doormat, and neither are your family and friends. If you really love them you will accept responsibility for the things you did, and you will hold them accountable where they are to blame.

What about forgiveness?

Don’t get unforgiveness confused with accountability. Yes, we are to forgive. Also, don’t get it confused with being judgmental, although sometimes folks being held accountable may call you that. If you don’t hold someone accountable, it sends the wrong message.

I’m not talking about pointing fingers and fighting over stupid stuff. Some things do not really matter. I am talking about the big issues in life where parents blame themselves for the failures of their children, and I’m talking about where friends mess up and want to pass the buck.

Holding someone accountable is one of the most important things you can do to help that person grow to his or her full potential. When you hold a person accountable, the lessons range from responsibility for a task to taking ownership of the result. The rewards are a job well done. Failures bring opportunities to try again.

When you don’t hold someone accountable, that person does not have the opportunity to grow. Mediocrity also sets in. Unfinished tasks and an unfulfilled life follow. Without accountability, a person never learns to follow and therefore cannot lead. People who are not ever held accountable have no reason to believe they ever will be. The learned lesson is that anything and everything goes. I suspect our jails are full of folks who were not held accountable at an early age.

Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:9-11

Accountability teaches submission. When someone cannot submit to authority, he or she will be less likely to surrender his or her life to Jesus. Many folks won’t accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior simply because they never learned to submit or surrender their will and be held accountable by someone else on any level. Judgment day is coming. Every knee shall bow.

Help the young folks in your life by holding them accountable. Help your friends be better people by holding them accountable also. In the long run, they will be glad you did.


Today’s challenge is to realize that when you hold someone accountable in a loving way, you are just showing that you care. When you do not let them push the blame on you for something you did not do, you are just bringing truth to light. Responsibility needs to reside squarely on the shoulders of the person responsible.

Remember that when we meet the Lord, there will be no excuses. Teach your children and the young people in your life to take ownership of what they do. This has nothing to do with forgiving them. You still need to forgive the other person. It’s simply about responsibility and accountability.