Why Short-Tempered Holds You Back & How to Change It

Do you make people walk on eggs around you?

I’ve known people who constantly kept things stirred up. Everyone would be happy and getting along fine until they showed up. When they showed up, they would pitch a fit about something. Often someone would wind up in tears.

Do you know someone like that? Maybe you are that person?

No one wants to be around a person that is always pitching a fit or grumbling and complaining about something. Other people in hearing range may feel like they are being accused of falling short even when it has nothing to do with them.

If you are a quick-tempered person, it will be harder for people to be open with you. You will also tend to have folks around you that will only tell you what you want to hear. Often they will keep important truths from you because they do not want you to go off around them.

This can be detrimental for you personally or even for your job or company because folks will be less likely to help you or point out ways you can improve. If you are married or have children, those folks will also tend to keep things from you. It will be very harmful for your relationships as honesty and openness are weighed before things are brought to your attention. Working out issues will be nearly impossible if you are not able to keep your emotions under control because you feel the need to be defensive.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:1

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
Galatians 5:22-26

To become less explosive, you must surrender the pressure of the force you feel to Jesus. In other words, you must “die to self.” Most of the time an explosive nature is tied to wants and desires.

Whatever it is that upsets us is usually all about us. Even when we are upset because we are trying to please someone else, it is still about us. We want to look good in the eyes of another.

Once you surrender that button that Satan can push, you will find a habit of reacting remains. You may find that you react, but the emotion is not really there. Over time, that will go away as you continue to unlearn that habit.


Today’s challenge is to ask God to show you what kind of person you are and what kind of people you attract. If you think folks tend to agree with you to keep you happy, then they may also withhold upsetting news from you. Ask God to help you to “die to self.” Surrender that feeling you have when your buttons are pushed or the reason for that outburst to God. Remember, life is not about you. It’s about reaching people for Jesus. Ask God for more fruit of the Spirit. Ask God to teach you a better way to communicate your feelings or wishes to the folks around you.